I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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