Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
