her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Randomize
