I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Panties = found
Randomize
