He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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