Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
