Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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