i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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