Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I still have a little drunk in my system
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
