What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
