You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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