are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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