I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
