Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
