I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
