alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Randomize
