I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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