This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
