Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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