Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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