So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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