Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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