No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
