Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
