U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
