Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
