Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
