did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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