Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize