Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he shaved USA in his pubs
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
