I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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