Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
