i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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