I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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