What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
