You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
