i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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