Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
