Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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