So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
