You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
