Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
