If that was your dad, he is hot
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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