For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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