Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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