Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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