i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
