Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
