It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
