I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
