The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
