And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
