I think my vagina is haunted
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
