It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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