P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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